Dondi Scumaci Blog

Welcome back! Thank you for the great interaction on Facebook regarding the post “Emotions Make Bad Drivers.” As always, your comments add a depth to the discussion that is refreshing and thought provoking.

We left the disgruntled employee plotting her “I’ll-Show-You” strategy after receiving critical feedback from her supervisor. (If you’ve not read the story, I encourage you to start here. )

Now it was my turn to pull up a chair.

Drawing on the wisdom of Zig Ziglar, who taught me to “fix people first, then fix problems,” I simply acknowledged the emotion of the scene. (I’ll admit this took some doing on my part. Her behavior was so irrational and vengeful, it was challenging to focus on or care how she was feeling.) Thankfully I found the words. “It hurts when feedback is critical or feels unfair.”

The rant stopped and at that moment she allowed the real emotion to come forward. Anger is a mask. If you can get behind the anger, you can find the honest emotion.

Her honest emotion was fear. As we talked more, I learned how afraid she really was. Afraid of losing her job, looking foolish, and even being “shut out” on the team. Now we were getting somewhere.

With the real emotion on the table, we were able to turn those fears into objectives. I asked her to imagine a more successful result and actions she could take to move closer to those goals.

It wasn’t a perfect process. Several times, she lost her focus and imagined the shortcomings of her boss instead. It was easier (at first) for her to describe the offense and to defend her position. Each time she turned in that direction, I asked another objective-based question.

• Even so, what pieces of this do you influence?
• What can you do to manage those perceptions?
• How can you invite your boss to see you in a new way?
• What is the brand you want to build?
• How might you be contributing to the problem?

She made the turn. She left the session with a goal and a plan. She learned to let her objectives drive.

I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. You are personally invited to join the discussion on Facebook.

Stayed tuned for the next blog installment. I’m going to share some secrets with you – “How Leaders(Unwittingly) Reward Low Accountability.” You may be surprised by what appears on this list of unintentional strategies.

Until then, remember you were designed for success and built to grow. Take honest emotions along for the ride, but let objectives drive.

I have a daughter who graduated from college recently and it took her a while to find a job. My wife and I prayed about a job for her and now she is working for a large international organization. I plan to get her your Designed for Success book. Should I get her anything else?

H.K.

Congratulations! These are marvelous achievements and brilliant beginnings. I cannot tell you how many women have said, “I wish someone had put this book, this information in my hands when I was graduating and starting my career!” When you give Designed for Success, you are not giving a book. You are giving a chest filled with tools, and I am confident tools in the right hands can build marvelous things!

 To accompany Designed, I would buy a pack of Moleskin journals and encourage her to fill them with her ideas, thoughts, and dreams. In these journals she can design her life, capture wisdom, and mark the milestones. Along with the book and the journals, I might throw in a great pair of black pumps with a note reminding your daughter that she is absolutely Designed for Success!

As I’d mentioned earlier this week, we’ve been receiving a lot of “Ask Dondi” emails every day. This week we’re going to tackle some of them. Don’t forget, if you have submitted an “Ask Dondi” question, watch for the question and the answer here. Thank you for keeping the lines of communication open and for sharing your questions with me.

Audrey said: Greetings Dondi! I recently saw you on John Hagee Ministries. I purchased your book today. I was really enlightened by some things you spoke about. How can I hear more about the purpose of mentoring and why our success is vital to having mentors?

I am passionate about mentoring because I believe it is one of the most important strategies for personal and professional development available to us. Through mentoring we prepare for our next steps and we make the most of the step we’re on. Mentoring builds the heart and forges confidence. It is personalized development in action! I often say life should come with the disclaimer, “Do not attempt any of this alone!”

The impact of mentoring is undeniable – for individuals and organizations. Organizations committed to mentoring report the ability to manage change more effectively, prepare future leaders, and attract the best people. When organizations make the investment in formal mentoring programs, they fully expect to see results like these:

• Improved job satisfaction
• Increased retention
• Improved job performance
• Higher quality and productivity
• Employees ready to take the next career step
• Stronger sense of community
• Employees taking personal responsibility for their professional development

From the perspective of those mentored, the benefits are also striking. People who have been mentored tend to earn more and they are promoted faster. Both of these outcomes may be related to the process of mentoring which focuses on developing a solid career plan and building a strong professional network. Mentoring “plugs” individuals into the organization and makes professional development a personal priority.

Mentees or proteges are generally exposed to a broader organizational perspective. They are made more visible and they are able to market themselves more effectively. They see how all pieces fit together to form the big picture. This allows them to build strong networks, break through functional barriers and have a greater impact.

Mary wrote: How often should you motivate your team?

I encourage you to view motivation as a value versus an event. That means motivated is something we “are” rather than something we “do.” It’s not what you do that will be the most important thing; it’s what is created inside of people by what you do (or don’t do). As a leader look for ways to promote:

• Learning and growth
• A sense of personal achievement
• Confidence and self-esteem
• Ownership and commitment
• Opportunities to demonstrate special knowledge or expertise

To foster these attributes on your team you may assign challenging tasks that ask people to stretch, make progress and improvement more visible, reinforce and celebrate what is working well, get people involved by asking for their advice and their opinions, and find ways to let people shine.

I would also look for and respond quickly to what frustrates your team. If you can’t fix it, acknowledge the frustration and refocus your group on what they can impact. Sometimes people get lost in the things they cannot personally change and this will steal their strength and energy. We can’t ignore what isn’t working well but we need to maintain a rigorous focus on the action we can take and the impact we can have. In Designed for Success, you will find more ways to empower yourself and others with personal accountability.

My best to you as you make motivation an element of your culture.