Dondi Scumaci Blog

Welcome back! Thank you for the great interaction on Facebook regarding the post “Emotions Make Bad Drivers.” As always, your comments add a depth to the discussion that is refreshing and thought provoking.

We left the disgruntled employee plotting her “I’ll-Show-You” strategy after receiving critical feedback from her supervisor. (If you’ve not read the story, I encourage you to start here. )

Now it was my turn to pull up a chair.

Drawing on the wisdom of Zig Ziglar, who taught me to “fix people first, then fix problems,” I simply acknowledged the emotion of the scene. (I’ll admit this took some doing on my part. Her behavior was so irrational and vengeful, it was challenging to focus on or care how she was feeling.) Thankfully I found the words. “It hurts when feedback is critical or feels unfair.”

The rant stopped and at that moment she allowed the real emotion to come forward. Anger is a mask. If you can get behind the anger, you can find the honest emotion.

Her honest emotion was fear. As we talked more, I learned how afraid she really was. Afraid of losing her job, looking foolish, and even being “shut out” on the team. Now we were getting somewhere.

With the real emotion on the table, we were able to turn those fears into objectives. I asked her to imagine a more successful result and actions she could take to move closer to those goals.

It wasn’t a perfect process. Several times, she lost her focus and imagined the shortcomings of her boss instead. It was easier (at first) for her to describe the offense and to defend her position. Each time she turned in that direction, I asked another objective-based question.

• Even so, what pieces of this do you influence?
• What can you do to manage those perceptions?
• How can you invite your boss to see you in a new way?
• What is the brand you want to build?
• How might you be contributing to the problem?

She made the turn. She left the session with a goal and a plan. She learned to let her objectives drive.

I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. You are personally invited to join the discussion on Facebook.

Stayed tuned for the next blog installment. I’m going to share some secrets with you – “How Leaders(Unwittingly) Reward Low Accountability.” You may be surprised by what appears on this list of unintentional strategies.

Until then, remember you were designed for success and built to grow. Take honest emotions along for the ride, but let objectives drive.

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As the group gathered for a workshop, one young woman made a grand entrance. She marched into the room, slammed her bag on a table and made quite a show of slamming herself into the chair. She had a “don’t-you-dare-ask-me” look on her face, so of course…I asked. (Isn’t that what don’t-ask looks are really for?)

She had just come from a little sit down with her supervisor (who was described in the most colorful terms). The chat hadn’t gone well. Apparently her boss had recited a list of criticisms – which in this employee’s head sounded like, “Do more. Do it better. Do it faster.”

I wasn’t at the meeting with her boss, so I can’t fairly comment on how effectively the performance message was delivered. I can speak to the employee’s response. She was deliberately climbing on the “gotcha” wheel and preparing to give it a real spin.

This employee left the meeting plotting her sweet revenge. She would document everything and everyone. She would keep careful lists about who was doing what (and who wasn’t). Her plan was to highlight the errors and shortcomings of her supervisor and colleagues. When I asked how that would improve her brand she shrugged, “This documentation will give me the ammunition I need the next time my boss wants to discuss my performance.”

Ammunition? (Are you kidding me? We aren’t in a gunfight here!)

Coming from a purely emotional place, her strategy was to defend and deflect the feedback. Being right in this situation required proving others wrong, and standing taller meant knocking others down. Her plan was purely reactive and filled with malice. (I’ve never known good things to come from bad intentions.)

We will all have the opportunity to manage critical feedback in our lives. It may be at work or at home, spoken or implied. We may not agree with the feedback we receive from others; that’s okay. Agreement isn’t the goal. Understanding and responding effectively to the feedback is.

Here are five strategies for processing feedback effectively. (This comes with an invitation. What would you add to the list? What is your best advice for making the most of feedback?)

1. Resist the temptation to argue or defend. Ask questions with a sincere goal to understand where the feedback is coming from.
2. Remember the feedback is not you, but it is yours. You will ultimately decide what to do with it. You are in the driver’s seat.
3. Feedback is perception-based. If you can locate the perception, you can manage it. That is a very good thing! Instead of focusing on the criticism, focus on what you can do to manage the perception.
4. Look for patterns and trends in the feedback you’re receiving. If for example you have a communication breakdown with one person, it may be an isolated incident. It happens. If you are surrounded by a flurry of miscommunication, you may need to take a closer look at your own messages! The problem may not be “them!”
5. Manage the emotional environment of feedback by thanking the giver. This can be very challenging, especially if you disagree or if the feedback hurts. (This tip belongs on the list of things that you won’t feel like doing when it matters the most.) Again, agreement isn’t the goal here. You might simply say, “Thank you for sharing your perspective.”

In my next blog, I’ll share the rest of the story – how this employee turned negative feedback into a launching pad for positive results. In the meantime I would love you to weigh in with your best managing feedback tip.

You were designed for success and built to grow!

In the workplace, proceed with real caution in “balancing the (value) account.”

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There is a whole lot to worry about, so you better get started right away!

For many of us worry is a constant, all-too-faithful companion. (That’s fair, because in many ways we “invite” her along for the ride. We don’t like her, but honestly some of us don’t know what to do without her!) Once “she” attaches herself to you, she can be so hard to shake! She attends meetings, interrupts your work, steals your energy, and battles with your confidence.

Worry usually doesn’t travel alone. She networks! She is more than happy to introduce you to her colleagues. Doubt, Criticism, and Negativity are three of her favorite peers, but Fear is her boss.

Worry can become a habit. Some people might even say an addiction! If you can relate to that, and you want to break free, consider these steps:

1. The first step to breaking the habit of worry is to become more aware of when you are worrying and what you are worrying about. (Do not allow worry to crouch in the corner of your mind. Pull her out into the light and look her squarely in the face!)

2. Set an appointment with worry and give her your complete attention! Take notes. Write it all down. Don’t worry, (pun intended) when she is finished with her agenda, you’re going to introduce her to gratitude, action, and vision. (That, by the way will make her very uncomfortable, and she may cancel future appointments with you.)

3. Once you have exhausted yourself with the worst case scenario, imagine how you want things to turn out. Picture the outcomes you want.

4. Brainstorm actions you can take to move closer to your goal.

5. Finish your meeting with one more list. What are you grateful for? (This is where you introduce worry to gratitude. I promise worry will not hang around to chat it up.)

In Chapter 6 of Ready, Set.Grow, you will learn more about breaking the worry habit. (And if worry is an addiction for you, chapter 6 will be your “Worry Intervention.”)

All the best,

Dondi

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Here’s the thing about opportunity. “She” has a wardrobe filled with
disguises. Sometimes opportunity just doesn’t look like opportunity! If you
aren’t watching for her, she may brush right by you unnoticed. I’m learning
that opportunity doesn’t always knock. Sometimes she waits in the wings or
behind the scenes.

For example:

. She attends the team meeting that’s been derailed by excuses and
negativity. There’s your opportunity to be a catalyst for positive momentum. Change the course of the conversation with an accountable question. “What pieces of this problem do we control?”

. Opportunity is available for that routine, mundane task. How? She would
ask, “How can you add value to this? How you make it better?”

. You’ll find her as you greet the day, when you are grateful for
the opportunity to start fresh and try again. Each day brings with it a new slate of opportunities.

. Notice her when you decide to break out of destructive patterns
and make new choices for yourself. The options and chances here are endless, limited by only your imagination.

. She may hide behind a persistent problem or inside a daunting task you’ve been procrastinating. She may simply dare you to try something new as you approach the task or maybe, if you’ve been putting it off, just to begin.

. She’ll even dream with you – big, beautiful dreams about the
future that you want to create with her by your side.

Thinking about opportunity in this way changes where I look for her and what I
think she looks like. I want to recognize her in all of her disguises!
When I can see opportunity, she allows me to take her hand and go further than I’d imagined possible!

All the best,

Dondi

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Sarah Palin has given us a lot to talk about this 4th of July weekend. Her announcement to step down 18 months before her term ends as the Governor of Alaska has created quite the buzz. Many people are ready to offer opinions about what it means. I’ve seen everything from “brilliant” to “irresponsible.” Speculation swirls as bloggers, journalists and political commentators analyze her intentions. Was her decision to resign a bold move or a big mistake?

I don’t want to weigh in on the speculation around Sarah Palin. I’ll leave that to the speculators.  Rather, I want to talk about women who make bold moves, whether we agree with them or not, and what we can learn from them. Here is my short list. What would you add?

1. It’s possible to advance in a different direction. Stepping down doesn’t necessarily mean stepping back.

2. Your brand is the platform you build. From the there you can reinvent yourself in surprising ways.

3. Bold moves and big platforms make great targets; make sure you are grounded by your values and a compelling vision.

4. Bold moves will cost you something.

5. If you realize that you can’t achieve your goals from where you are, a bold move may be required.

6. Have your talking points ready, and don’t underestimate the power of social media to get your message through!

7. Be strategic. Make sure your current move won’t limit future moves. Don’t box yourself in with a short-sighted move.

8. You may be invited to defend your moves. R.S.V.P with care.

9. Your moves should reflect and protect what you value most.

I encourage you to step away from the political aspects of Palin’s story for a moment and think about your own bold moves!

. What risks should you be taking?

. What do you need to let go of in order to accomplish your goals?

. What keeps you from taking the next step and making a move?

All the best,

Dondi

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Have you heard the term, “Unprocessed Data?” Even if the term isn’t familiar, I’m betting you are personally experiencing or living with unprocessed data. This is when information is coming more quickly than we can recognize, reflect, organize, reject, respond to, learn from, adapt to, take advantage of or interpret. Some examples of unprocessed data may be spam, newsletters or memos. We just can’t keep up with the wave of information bearing down on us daily and as much as I hate to say it, behind this wave is an ocean full of the stuff.

The impact of unprocessed data runs from generalized anxiety to a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. If we allow it to distract  us, we become unfocused and reactive. That is when the information begins to manage us.

What can you do to “process the data” and manage information more effectively?

1: Clarify your goals. There is a great deal of information out there; that doesn’t mean that it’s relevant to you. When your vision and goals are crystal clear, the “sea of information” will part and you will find it easier to focus on what has real impact.

2: Ask better questions. It’s been said, “To some degree the quality of our lives will be determined by the questions we ask.” I have personally found truth in that. When organizations ask better questions, they create opportunities for honest feedback. They are also more prepared for challenges and opportunities.  When individuals have the courage to ask better questions, they are more prepared and become more valuable.

The most amazing thing happens when you begin to ask better questions. Answers appear. (There’s no coincidence here. We will always find what we are looking for, just as we are constantly moving towards what we think about.)

What are the “better questions?” There are no right or wrong answers here, but I can offer a few suggestions.

a. Where are my skills becoming outdated?

b. What am I learning and how am I applying it to my life and my work?

c. Where do I need to broaden my knowledge so I can be more effective?

d. How is my job or industry changing? What will I need to know and understand the future?

e. Where is my next opportunity? How am I making myself more available for it?

f. What are my current challenges (also known as problems and frustrations) inviting me to learn?

3: Do the postmortem. In corporate terms, that means take a moment (and a breath) at the completion of a project. Think about what worked, what didn’t, what you learned, and what you would do differently. Postmortems must be “blame-free” zones. This is not about rationalizing or justifying anything. It is a wide-eyed objective look at how things turned out. On an individual scale, the postmortem is personal debrief. It is maximizing your experience by drawing wisdom out of it. You can manage the onslaught of information by becoming more reflective.

4: Make technology work for you. Use web feeds and RSS alerts . Manage information by opting in (and out) of the flow. Is there a topic you are interested in or need to know more about? Set up a news alert or an RSS feed on your internet search engine.  When news happens around that subject, links are pushed to you in a summary format. At the same time, opting out is also important. If you are receiving information that is not relevant, get off the list! (That includes the weekly report you have been receiving at work for the past five years. You know the one you get but don’t read or need?) Initially it takes a little time and effort to opt out of some of these lists, but in the long run, you win.

5: Trust yourself. Be decisive about what you need and what you don’t. Go through your email inbox and delete the messages that have been sitting there for 9 months gathering electronic dust. Delete old information. (Honestly, the shelf life of information these days is about a nanosecond.)  This is a good time of the year to let it go! Sometimes we collect and hold onto information because somehow we think it will make us better. We need it to feel secure. We don’t use or look at it, we just collect it. I promise, if you’ve been getting along this long without it, you don’t need it. Be decisive with paper too. Read it, respond to it, refer it, file it or throw it away. Think of it this way: Paper (even electronic paper) has a destiny; your job is to move that transaction forward.

With steps like these, you are still sailing on a sea of information, but you have firmly taken the wheel and you will be in charge of the direction it takes you.
Have a great week!

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I learn fabulous things at every conference. I always come away inspired
with new perspectives and greater understanding. (Secretly I suspect my
clients are some of the best and brightest people on the planet.) That was
certainly the case recently in Atlanta, working with a group of dynamic AT&T
managers.

As we debriefed a leadership exercise, “Pete” (a real nickname) said
something quite profound. It resonated with me because I have been thinking
about this a lot. He said, “This leadership experience has reminded me that
I must “play to win” instead of “playing not to lose.” While I let that sink
in, let me add a little shout out to Pete, “BRAVO!  And, thanks.”

These are strange and volatile times. Every day we hear news of “giants
shrinking,” layoffs, shutdowns, and the new “phenom” – corporate bailouts.
In the wake of all that confusion, organizations and their employees often
batten down the hatches, hold on for dear life, and keep their heads down.
That is playing not to lose.  

I encourage you to play to win, and here are three ways to do exactly that.  

1.       Be informed, not afraid. That includes knowing when to turn off the
news and tune into positive messages. What are you listening to, reading,
and thinking about? It is important to be informed. Obsessing is not
helpful, and obsessing about things you can’t control is paralyzing. That
brings us to the second tip.

2.       Focus on the actions you can take, the decisions you can make, and
the impact you can have. Worry and fear are exhausting. There is no return
on the investment of worry or fear! Stop worrying and take positive action.
Look the worst case scenario squarely in the eye. Then make a list of the
things you can do to move closer to your goal. Honestly, we need to think
more about what we want and less about what we are afraid of. I dare
you.double dare you to try that for one week. (Then drop me a line and tell
me how it turned out.)

3.       Increase your value. Look for ways to become more of a resource and
make it easier for people to do  business with you. Think of the power in
that. What would happen if we stopped bracing ourselves for the worst and
started looking for ways to be more valuable?   

You were designed to succeed – built for it. Remember who you are and what
you are capable of. Play to win.

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I love Starbucks coffee. Years of living in Seattle cultivated a love for great coffee. Not just the coffee, but the whole experience of coffee. And yes I am (BARELY) old enough to remember the original Starbucks at Pike Place Market. We used to trek down there on the weekends to buy fish at the now famous FISH! place, buy wonderful fruit and flowers, and coffee. It was a wonderful tradition. 

On March 19^th, Starbucks was featured in the money section of USA Today*. Starbucks has experimented, explored, and experienced tremendous growth. They’ve taken some risks and they’ve learned some lessons. CEO Howard Schultz outlined a new strategy for Starbucks, which includes a “back-to-the-future” approach refocusing on the core business while driving for innovation. As I read the article I couldn’t help but think there are valuable take aways for all of us. We can all learn a lesson or two from Starbucks okay actually six, and here they are:

Return to your core. You dilute your personal brand when you try to be all things to all people. Make sure you are focusing on what drives the most value.

1. Remember who you are! There a lot of talent out there and a lot of competition. What makes you special, unique, and marketable?
2. Practice innovation. How can you improve a process, a product, or make it easier for people to do business with you?
3. Pay attention to the social network. Build your community and make networking a real priority.
4. Find ways to give back. Vest yourself in the causes you care about.
5. Control your growth. It really is possibly to grow too quickly in your career. Master the step you are on before reaching for the next.

Heres to a really good cup of coffee and to your success. You were absolutely designed for it! 

* USA TODAY article by Brian Horovitz.

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Public Service Announcement: There is no such thing as job security, so stop looking for it, asking for it, and worrying about it. If that sounds like bad news, it really isn’t. Your security doesn’t come from your employer, and it never has.

It is a wonderful moment when you realize that you create your own opportunity by increasing your value. As an employee, you are an asset. Increase your value and opportunity will present itself. I promise. It’s the rule. You know sowing and reaping what you put in, you get out. It may not happen as quickly as you like or even where you are today, but it will absolutely happen. Here are three things you can do to start adding value right now, right where are: 

1. Ask your boss how you can have greater impact. (When I ask bosses if they would appreciate this they say, “Absolutely!” Most of them also say it has never happened. Blow your bosses mind, be the first.)
2. Look for way to add value to everything you do, even to what seems routine and mundane. This is a little like putting “top spin” on the ball. You don’t even have to go the extra mile. Just reach beyond what is expected, and watch your value skyrocket.
3. Make it easier for people to do business with you. Think about your internal and external customers. How can you become a greater resource? How can you save your customers time, make information more accessible, or simplify a process?

In the words of one of my favorite authors Brian Tracy, “The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire.”You were designed for success and you have tremendous value!

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